There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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