I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
You left your underwear on the fireplace
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
