I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
There's always time for handjobs
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
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