I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
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