I think scott just propositioned me for sex
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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