You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
i used baking grease as lip gloss
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
