OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
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