i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Randomize
