I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
