Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize