It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
