I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
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