theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
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