After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
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