Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Randomize
