Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
