are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Randomize
