I'm laying in your front yard are you home
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
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