...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
We smell like vodka and hangover
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