Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
