Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Randomize
