I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Randomize
