So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
