Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
