have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
