I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
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