Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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