We tried having a conversation with our noses.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
