haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Randomize
