so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
