$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
