i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Randomize
