i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Randomize
