dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize