You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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