I hope mine doesn't look like that
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
