she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
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