Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
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