You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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