Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
then he tried to convert me to islam
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Randomize
