i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Randomize
