Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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