is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
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