I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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