This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Randomize
