I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
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