hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
