what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
