Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
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