i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Randomize
