butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
