we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
