just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
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