Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Randomize
