Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize