How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
