it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Randomize
