if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
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