It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I FOUND THE LEGS
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
