she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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