I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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