I want to make a zoo with you.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
